Ruby's Rompin Room~the FunZone

1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup sugar plus 1/2 teaspoon
1/2 cup milk plus 2 tablespoons
1/2 cup warm water
1 tablespoon yeast (bread Viagra)
1 egg
3-4 cups all-purpose flower
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Dissolve yeast in warm water with 1/2 tsp sugar and set aside to proof.In a small pan, melt butter, sugar and milk together over low heat. Remove from heat when butter is melted and cool till warm but not hot.Combine salt and 3 c. flour in a mixing bowl, then add dissolved yeast. Stir in the egg and the milk mixture. Mix thoroughly, till dough forms a ball. Add more flour if dough is too sticky. Knead dough on a floured surface for a few minutes, then place in oiled bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Let rise 45 minutes or till doubled in size.Punch down the dough and roll into a log about 12 inches by 3 inches. With sharp knife, trim off a slice about 1/2 inch thick and set aside. Cut the remaining dough into 8 to 12 equal pieces (depending on how large you like your breasts). Form each piece of dough into a smooth ball by rolling the edges under the ball and crimping them together in one spot. Place crimped side down on a greased baking sheet. Place the dough balls together in lightly touching pairs. Cover with a clean dish towel and leave in a warm spot to rise for 45 minutes.

Brush the breasts with milk (what else?). In a small bowl, combine brown sugar and cinnamon. To form the aureoles, pinch off a small piece of the reserved dough, roll into a ball, and press with your thumb to form a disk. Dip one side in the cinnamon sugar and place in the center of a breast. Repeat with the remaining breasts. Place a pea-sized ball of dough on top of each aureole to make the nipples. Bake at 350 F for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Allow to cool on a rack.

Gingerbread Kama Sutra

1 cup butter softened
1 1/2 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons light corn syrup
4 tablespoons salt
1 egg
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
Decorator frosting tubes in white, black, red and yellow. Cinnamon candies

Gingerbread Kama Sutra

1 package Pillsbury or other unbaked refrigerated crescent rolls
4 ounces cream cheese
1 teaspoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons sugar
Strawberry or raspberry preserves
1 egg beaten
1/4 cup powdered sugar
2 teaspoons milk

Unroll the sheet of biscuit dough and separate into 4 rectangles. Place rectangles a few inches apart on baking sheet. Press gently to seal perforations in dough. In a small bowl, mix cream cheese, sugar, and lemon juice till thoroughly combined. Place a heaping spoonful of the cream cheese mixture in the center of each rectangle of dough. To form the vulvas, grasp the shorter ends ends of the dough rectangle and fold toward the center so they meet in the middle. Seal at the bottom and the top. Pull the edges of the dough back from the center to form the pussy lips and expose the cheese filling. Tweak the top to make the clitoris.

Fold the dough around the filling to form vulva as desired, place a spoonful of berry preserves in the vagina along with the cheese filling. Bake 12 - 15 minutes at 375 degrees or until golden brown. To get a nice, shiny appearance, take them out of the oven when they are just beginning to get golden around the edges, and brush with beaten egg white. Return to oven and complete baking. Let cool a bit, then mix powdered sugar with enough milk to get the right consistency for drizzling. Use a fork to drizzle the glaze over the pastries.

2 packages Pillsbury or other unbaked refrigerated crescent rolls
4 hot dogs or sausages of your choice

Open one package of biscuits and unroll sheet of dough. Separate into 4 rectangular pieces, and place a hot dog or sausage on each. Place the hot dog off center so that one end will protrude beyond the edge of the dough to form the head of the penis. Roll the dough around the hot dogs and place seam side down on baking sheet.

Leave the tip of the hot dog sticking outOpen the second package of dough, unroll, and separate into triangles. Roll the triangles up and shape into testicles, two per cock. Press into place at the base end of the penises. Bake 12 - 15 minutes at 375 degrees or till golden.